People Want to Be Found, Not Fixed
Start with Your Heart
(Intro Video) “I’m afraid to talk to God because He may ask me to do something I don’t want to do.” That is a one-sentence window into a disconnected heart. He wasn’t rebellious. He was disconnected — running on the self-discipline and control treadmill that substitutes will-management for heart engagement.
We have all met people who feel “disconnected.” Something is missing. Hearts are going one direction, and our minds are trying to summon the willpower to go in another. We can’t be transparent or vulnerable when we are double-minded.
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- One of the unwritten rules in business is Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell; just keep it all buttoned up and superficial! It’s no one’s business if I’m an emotional powder keg medicated with fanciful dreams, drugs, or alcohol.
- Religion is not necessarily the cure for transparent hearts; sometimes the church is a fig leaf dispensary that contributes to hiddenness.
Hearts Drive the Bus – There is a saying, “What the heart loves, the will chooses, and the mind justifies.” While most of our “business” attention has been on great ideas and the discipline to implement them, our hearts have been relegated to the seat of emotions that are embarrassingly  unmanageable. Like stepping on land mines, we burst into tears or tantrums at a moment’s notice.
In fact, our hearts are secretly driving the bus. Our mental discipline is largely a pretentious cover for what we really want and what we really do. Heart and spirit have a fuzzy line of separation. “They” are our organ of perception for conversations with Father.
What’s the greatest commandment? Jesus said it’s to love God with all of our heart, soul, and mind (Mt 22:37). What’s the division of labor?
#1). Heart – decides our desires
#2). Will/Soul – executes, takes action to get what we want
#3). Mind – justifies our actions with logic afterward
The secret to becoming yourself and leveraging your original design is to start with your heart. Putting your will or mind or someone else’s agenda ahead of your heart is getting the cart before the horse! Getting connected starts with knowing your heart. Our train-wrecked stories are redeemed when we connect our hearts with Father’s heart (Rom 8:28).
If our heart drives everything, and we want our heart aligned with Father’s, then wisdom is not knowing more or doing better — it’s wanting what He wants.
Yes, But How? – With that Heart Priority how do we train ourselves or disciple others to start with our Heart?
The place to start is conversations because The mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Lu 6:45). This is why listening to someone talk about their business tells you more about their heart than their business plan does.
Listen – If you want to know what’s in someone’s heart just learn to listen and it will come out. Face-to-face conversation is a window into hearts. I love to hear the deepest dreams and desires people carry because some fraction of that story is something God wrote in their hearts. When you listen it will resonate (or not), but that’s the starting place for connecting with God’s heart. Are we already on His page or someplace else?
Don’t chase every rabbit – I shelve the will (performance) and mental opinions and reasoning until I get acquainted with the bus driver (the heart). The goal of communication is knowing hearts; the goal of education is engaging hearts; the goal of salvation is connecting our desires with Father’s heart.
Their why, not the right why, not your why – The place this starts is not a program or a discipline. It’s a conversation — specifically, the kind you have when you ascend to the Council and ask Father what He actually sees in the person sitting across from you. Sons who do this regularly stop trying to manage people or their behavior and start seeing hearts through a prophetic lens. They hear what’s underneath, the root why in their hearts. They recognize the dream in someone’s heart before the performance mask went on. The dream might be from God or be totally carnal, but the starting place is listening until you hear it – their why, not yours.
The invitation here is simple: before your next significant conversation — with a team member, a client, a student, a spouse, or friend — spend time in the Council asking Father what He loves about them. What He sees. What He wrote in their heart. If there are accusations against them, take those to the Courts of Heaven and set them free. Then go into that conversation and listen for their heart.
Trade up for Purpose – You will find their true heart purpose. And when you name it, something opens. Kingdom Purpose is not the cheesy motivational pablum somebody pulled out of their ass and put on a poster. Purpose that is prophetically correct resonates in hearts. That’s how we discern it! The difference is black and white. Is it Alive and inspiring (Living Words), or does it kill you like a rule (the letter of the law)?
If you can help people connect with their hearts and the dream Father has for them, they will trade carnal ambition for purpose and love you for a lifetime. No one else has ever tried. People want to be found, not fixed. Once you help them find their hearts, they will often fix themselves or volunteer for help. Now they have a purpose, a reason to do it.
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- Success is when they move from conversations with us to conversations in God’s Council.
- The Secret is that we were getting Living Words from the Council for them from the beginning.
That’s not coaching. That’s co-laboring — and when people feel the love behind it, they experience it as Father’s love for them. It’s available to every son willing to start with their heart.
PS: You will enjoy a prior blog Businesses that Engage
This blog was inspired by three Council sessions you may enjoy:
A Decree for the Education Mountain – Engage Hearts
I am hoping to work with a local Christian school that our grandchildren are attending. This graphic came from a Council session conversation about that initiative. It distills the focus, power, and importance that discipleship can play in engaging hearts with Kingdom Purpose.
We’ve all been to school, and we’ve all felt the difference between instruction from a mentor who cares and from a drill sergeant who doesn’t.
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- A mentor treats us like a son and engages our hearts to connect with the purpose in Father’s heart that matches our natural and spiritual DNA.
- The drill sergeant treats us like a servant and imposes their agenda with a performance treadmill. He skips our heart to engage our mind and will (Just do it!).
