Contending for Your Marriage in the Courts of Heaven

Marriage Strongholds Break in the Courts of Heaven

“The truth is like a lion. You do not need to defend it. Let it loose; it will defend itself.” — Augustine

(Video Overview) Most marriages are not destroyed by a single catastrophic event. They are eroded — slowly, accusation by accusation — until the person you married becomes defined and defiled by their failures, and you become the target of their abuses “and” the self-appointed prosecutor who cannot stop filing charges in return.

Sound familiar? It should. Because the process that quietly dismantles marriages is not random. It is the same process the accuser uses on every son and daughter of God. We are all exposed to spiritual warfare in the form of accusations, even in our marriage. The same demonic architecture that places legal accusations against us in the spirit realm is the one operating in the bedroom, at the dinner table, and in every conversation where one spouse cannot seem to stop reminding the other of their failings.

The good news is that marriage accusations can be taken to the Courts of Heaven just like any other accusation. Because marriage is a covenant, and covenants have courts.

0

The Accusation Has a Legal Basis — And That’s the Point

Here is what makes marital accusations so corrosive: THEY ARE TRUE! Your spouse really is impatient. You really are withdrawn. He does not listen. She is critical. The flaws are real, and because they are real, they have a legal basis, a source. The accuser does not need to manufacture evidence against us — he simply needs to present what is legally there and wait while we condemn ourselves, or each other, into a prison we cannot escape through willpower alone. There is an evil anointing for making accusations!

This is exactly what Paul describes in 2 Corinthians 10 as a stronghold — an argument, a pretension, a well-established accusation that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. In a marriage, strongholds sound like he will never change, she doesn’t respect me, I made a mistake marrying this person, this is just who we are. These are not merely thoughts. They are accusations with legal standing in the spirit, and they require an intentional legal response in the Courts of Heaven.

Jesus said it plainly: “Apart from me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5). That includes fixing your spouse. That includes fixing yourself. It exactly why Jesus redeemed access to the Courts of Heaven; why sons and daughters take every accusation to the courts of Heaven, plead guilty, and allow Jesus to be our legal advocate.

0

Ascending: Bringing Accusations to the Courts

The pattern Sons use in the spirit is the pattern that can transform a marriage. John 1:51 is the blueprint — angels ascending and descending on the Son of Man. Sons ascend with accusations and descend with decrees. The same strategy applies to warfare against inevitable marriage tensions when they arise.

• Sons ascend with Accusations to the Courts of Heaven for judgement and redemption
• And descend with Decrees that replace them with Living Words from Father, the Spirit of Truth

2Cor 10:3 – For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.
4)   The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.
On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
5)   We demolish arguments and every pretension    (How? – Sons in the Courts & Council)
that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

0

#1).  Intro – The format is usually one person, not a couple or a group. A spiritual mentor to go with you through the experience a few times can help keep it on track. We go the Courts when there is warfare and accusations to deal with, not all the time. God’s Council is the place of our routine appearance for conversations with Father, Jesus, and the 7 Spirits.

#2).  Ascend — to bring the accusations against you or your spouse into the Courts of Heaven rather than arguing them out on the living room floor. This is not avoidance. It is elevation. You are taking the case out of a jurisdiction where flesh and accusation rule and placing it before the Judge who has the actual authority to redeem the vulnerability targeted by the accusation.

#3).  Invite Father to reveal the accusations — against you, against your spouse, against the marriage itself. Don’t assume you know all of them, listen. Let them be presented in the Courts like evidence. Name them. This is not a moment for your defense; Jesus is your legal advocate.

#4).  Agree with your Adversary Quickly — This is the pivot point we have missed in the past. You agree with the accusation — not as a final verdict, but as a formal acknowledgment that it has legal standing, that it is real, and that you are powerless to change it. Apart from me, you can do nothing (Jn 15:5). That admission is not defeat. It is the key that unlocks what only Jesus can do.

#5).  The Cross. You invite Jesus to take those accusations — against you and against your spouse — to the cross. Not covered up. Not managed. Judged, redeemed, and settled. This is where the stronghold loses its grip. Not because the behavior was excused, but because it was paid for.

#6).  Address Roots. The accuser is rarely satisfied with surface accusations. He works generationally — patterns of iniquity inherited from fathers and mothers, wounds that were never resolved, agreements made long before the marriage that now shape it from generational covenants with legal power in the spirit. Ask Father to reveal them. Take them to the cross with the same intentionality.

(More on these steps in our Court and Council Toolkit)

0

Decrees From Father That Replace the Accusations

#7).  Hearing the Decrees. After the accusations have been brought before the Judge and taken to the cross, Father releases His decrees — Living Words that replace what the accuser was saying with what Father says instead. These are not positive affirmations. They are prophetic Living Words spoken by a Loving Father that point to authentic identity, your true story/history, your purpose, and your path. Hearts are connected and integral because of this healing, prophetic, Courts of Heaven jailbreak.

Your job is to receive those decrees and carry them in your heart for yourself and your spouse on earth, in conversation and in prayer. Not arguing for them. Not defending them. Releasing them the way you would release a lion — with the confidence that these Living Words do not need your help; they just need your faith to release what only God can do because He wants to (and you are no longer standing in the way with accusations). Now you are saying what your Father is saying about your spouse (Jn 12:49). Inviting them to co-labor with you to do what Father is doing (Jn 5:19).

Isaiah 55:11 holds for marriages the same as it holds for everything else: the Word that goes out from Father’s mouth will accomplish exactly what He purposed. That includes the covenant He established, the two people He joined, and the story He is still writing, the Kingdom purpose that is still unfolding.

The Spirit of Truth is not fragile. Neither is your marriage when it is contended for in the Courts of Heaven and nurtured in the Father’s Council. The Spirit of Truth is the Lion that will save your marriage.

Becoming your authentic self — free from accusation and rooted in Father’s decrees — is the foundation of both Kingdom Business and Kingdom Marriage. Chat with John about Kingdom Business Coaching.

 

Example Courts of Heaven Session

Accusation – Our marriage will never be happy, it’s missing “love”
Husband avoiding conflict, intimacy, withdrawn from the relationship
Wife is leading, driving, worrying, stressed, critical of husband

Agree – Father it is true, this marriage is hopeless without you, therapy will be a band-aid, not a cure.
We’re taking this accusation of hopelessness to the cross along with every detail, every anxiety.
I’m taking every accusation I’ve made to the cross as well.
Forgive me Lord, I have been Shemai, throwing Rocks at David from the house of Saul.

Roots – You are two orphans, unparented, fatherless people unable to love one another.
Your generational heritage is divorce or indifference, and introversion.

Cross – Lord it’s true, We’re taking these family and generational roots to the cross as well.

Decrees

• • I am unveiling a purpose for Both of you
    1. I want to be your Father. I will never leave you nor forsake you.
    2. I will supply your needs; you will no longer expect your spouse to provide what only I can.
    3. I am moving your lives and your marriage on the plain of my higher purpose.
    4. Scene – You were both getting on a plane as though embarking on a honeymoon.
  • I am anointing you both to pull others into their status as son and daughter.
    1. Your cup is going to run over so that you can bless others. You will be amazed and your hearts will dance with delight.
       1. To connect other people with their own hearts so they are “connected”
       2. To show them their Father, their Kingdom Purpose, engage their hearts.

Note: I’ve helped lots of people get acquainted with the experience of ascending to the Courts of Heaven (so that they can go themselves and teach others how as well). They all feel like a high-wire act because if God doesn’t speak, we have nothing. This example is so relevant that you might feel like it’s a generic recipe for all. It’s not; Father wants to speak to each of us himself. He has something totally unique for you. His mercies and His manna are new every day; so are His decrees.

The net effect is that we are loosing the Lion of the Spirit of Truth in our marriage. It’s the level of warfare it takes to maintain any marriage because we all face accusations. You will be tempted to think of this as an intellectual exercise. You will be saying what Father is saying over your spouse in a prophetic way that pulls them into their own hearts, so they can become connected. But it’s not really you! It’s the Lion of the tribe of Judah occasionally working through you. You are now following the Lamb, doing what your Father is doing (Jn 5:19) and saying what your Father is saying (Jn 12:49). The lifestyle of sonship will flow from your heart like rivers of Living Water.

Ps 84:7 – They go from strength to strength, Every one of them appears before God in Zion.

Jn 1:51 – Very truly I tell you, you will see ‘heaven open,
and the angels of God ascending and descending on’ the Son of Man.

 

Q&A

• Where do I Start?
  1. With my own accusations. We face some warfare and trials in all areas of our lives. Take those to the Courts, release the decrees, and see what Father does. The metric for success as a son in business, life, or marriage is releasing what Father can do.
  2. Keep your slate free of accusations. They don’t come up all the time; just go to the Courts of Heaven when they do. It’s part of being a son or daughter who can overcome.
• What if my spouse isn’t ready for the Courts of Heaven? Willing?
  1. Quite often, one, not both, gets the invitation from Father into Sonship, Ascension, and Reformation. It’s OK. You can still take your spouse to the Courts of Heaven by proxy and see results.
  2. PS: All this stuff works on other relationships as well. Work, friends, children, etc. As soon as we get connected, we’re helping others connect their hearts as well. It’s fun! People you help are unbelievably grateful.
• What if I keep cycling back to the same accusations?
  1. Once you take an accusation to the cross, it won’t come back. The enemy will still tempt you with the same thought, but you should have a decree to counteract it. This does take faith – clarity on what Father did and decreed.
  2. Also ask Father whether there are deeper roots still unaddressed. Sometimes what looks like the same accusation is actually a door the enemy still has legal access to because something generational hasn’t been brought to the cross yet.
• How is this different from just praying for my marriage?
  1. Prayer is powerful, but the Courts of Heaven is a specific jurisdiction. The difference is legal standing. Many prayers go unanswered not because God is unwilling, but because the enemy has a legal claim that hasn’t been addressed. The Courts is how you close that door — by agreeing with the accusation, taking it to the cross, and allowing the Judge to issue a verdict.
  2. You are not convincing God to act. You are removing what’s blocking what He already wants to do, releasing the Lion of the Spirit of Truth in Father’s decrees.
• How is this different from just praying for my marriage?
  1. Prayer is powerful, but the Courts of Heaven is a specific jurisdiction. The difference is legal standing. Many prayers go unanswered not because God is unwilling, but because the enemy has a legal claim that hasn’t been addressed. The Courts is how you close that door — by agreeing with the accusation, taking it to the cross, and allowing the Judge to issue a verdict.
  2. You are not convincing God to act. You are removing what’s blocking what He already wants to do.
• Does this replace marriage counseling?
  1. It replaces the part counseling can never touch — the spiritual and legal root. Therapy can improve communication and surface patterns, but it cannot redeem what only the cross can reach. Two orphans with better communication skills are still orphans.
  2. That said, the fruit of Courts sessions often makes every other form of growth more effective. When the accusation is broken, hearts open. Connected hearts learn faster, forgive more readily, and pursue each other rather than defending themselves.
• What if I don’t hear anything from Father during the session?
  1. Start with what you already know. You don’t need a dramatic experience to acknowledge what is true — the accusations are usually not a mystery. Agree with them, take them to the cross, and ask if there are roots. Father is not withholding; He is looking for sons willing to show up.
  2. Having a spiritual mentor walk through the Courts with you a few times is genuinely helpful. Not to speak for you, but to help you stay on track and recognize what you are already hearing. Prophetically hearing God is like riding a bicycle (easy, once you know how). A mentor can show you how, easily!